Teenagers are struggling with anxiety at an all time high right now, especially when faced with constant comparison on social media, bullying, and low self-esteem. They can be in a room full of people or constantly texting friends and feel lonelier than they ever thought possible. What all of us need more than anything is deep, meaningful connections with friends who delight in us and remind us that we are worthwhile and lovely. Social anxiety lies to us and tells us we don’t deserve great friends and relationships.

Depression looks different depending on what age you are. In teens and youth, it can present as being easily irritated, on edge, and outbursts of intense frustration and rage. It is like a fire alarm that has a great purpose — because it’s letting you know there’s a fire underneath the anger. There is a need not being met — sometimes because they are afraid, insecure, lonely, afraid of failure, afraid of the unknown, or even feel like a huge disappointment. Anger alienates us from what is really going on with us and understanding the underlying cause.

Teens and youth feel so much and feel as if a camera of judgment of their peers is on them at all times. Unlike adults, they don’t have the ability to process and sort through all that they feel. Often, there is so much pain of self-rejection and rejection from others, and they want to be in control just for even a minute through self-harming behaviors like cutting or restrictive eating.

Sometimes what looks like procrastination is actually perfectionism and the fear of doing something wrong. They stop enjoying activities they used to love. Sometimes the fog of depression can make it unbearable to accomplish goals or meet deadlines for assignments. A cycle can begin where they miss an assignment, fall behind, are afraid to ask for help, and the internal motivation to do well in school or extracurriculars feels impossible.